Tonx

I don't even know how to write this without sounding cheesy or insincere, but I'm not even going to worry about that. I feel like I need to write this for myself so I can look back and remember just how much I loved him. Listening to my 80's Pop/Rock playlist right now to help keep a happy attitude and the tears away.

So. Last weekend I had to go home unexpectedly to watch/drive around Braeden and Marissa while my parents went to St. George for my great uncle's funeral. And on Saturday, Tonx passed away. My darling, handsome, personality-filled cat died after a long fight with a failing immune and digestive system. Although it wasn't unexpected, it still hurt.

Ah....the playlist is failing.

I know it sounds so cliché, like some scene out of a movie, but he was so cute the night before he died. The basement was full of strangers (who he always ran away from) for Braeden's birthday party but he came out when I came up to scoop ice cream for the boys. He was meowing more high pitched and sweeter than he usually does and I picked him up and cuddled him. Kissed his adorable little head. And then he reached his paw out to my face, which he's never done before. The last time I saw him I was watching TV in my parent's room. He came in and I put my hand down to pet him until he left.

Anyway, Marissa and I found him the next day. I knew something was wrong because I hadn't heard him all day, and he's always been very vocal about being fed when he wants to. Marissa and I went from dancing outside in the rain and splashing in puddles to suddenly not knowing what to do next. We buried him on Sunday, once Mom and Dad got back.

He was an amazing cat. Quick to purr and always ready to but his head against mine. He was obsessed with having his chin scratched and his ears and tail pulled. I would call "Buddykins!" to where he was lounging and he wouldn't move a muscle, but suddenly I would hear his loud purr.

He liked to nap in my dad's sink and lay down on his side with his legs straight out like a dog. He played like a kitten even though he was over 10 years old when he came to us. He'd catch mice and leave them for us even though he doesn't have any front claws. We'd have meowing conversations until someone else in the house told me to be quiet and leave him alone. He loved to watch movies with us, curled up in the crook of someone's knees. When Marissa and I would build blanket forts, he'd absolutely love it and never leave. He unashamedly begged for meat and cheese whenever someone started making food in the kitchen.

I'm going to miss him. His ordinary gray fur and his knotted tail. I'm going to miss scooping him up and talking to him in an embarrassingly gooey voice and smothering his face with kisses. I miss his deep voice and endless meowing. He was my first real pet, my kissy-face, my buddykins, my Tonkers, my lover-boy. I love you Tonx and thank you for showing up one night at our front door and changing our lives.

SUPERNATURAL

So I'm an obsesser. I know. I acknowledge and admit this fact. I move from one show or book or song to the next, researching and reading and watching and browsing Imdb and pinterest for hours on end just so I can become an expert on all things even remotely relating to my latest obsession. Harry Potter, Merlin, Downton Abbey, Percy Jackson, The Man from Snowy River, Mark Strong, popsicles, you name it. I can tell you all about it.

But guys, I'm over the edge here. I am SO in love with Dean Winchester's character, it's almost embarrassing. It hurts my heart. I want to squee all the time. Pretty much from episode one, back when he was just a boy looking for his dad, I've loved him. His looks, his leather jacket, his freckles and scruff, his one liners,his taste in music, his devotion to his family, his self-loathing, his courage and kick-butt attitude despite his horrible, horrible life..... *sigh*

I want him to be my character. I want to write characters like him -- a heroic, anti-heroic, flawed, perfect, brotherly soldier who loves pie and just wants the white picket fence life surrounded by family.

I would say more specifics about moments where I just wanted to reach out and hug him, but I really hate spoiling things for people. It makes me feel so guilty! So I won't. I will however post a couple pictures. :}

Hothothothothothothot..... ahem. :D

I've never had the desire to make a pinterest board completely devoted to one tv show or movie, but I actually had the desire to make a board just for Dean. Yep, I love 'im. :D He photographs so well, don't you think? ;]

Anyway...back to your regularly scheduled lives. The desire to gush is waning and I better post this before it joins other half-thought-out posts in the drafts folder. :]

My Must-See Movies

Alright folks. The blogging mood has struck again.

I saw Iron Man 3 today. To put it simply, it was the best, most amazing movie I've ever seen. But, probably contrary to your expectations, I'm not going to discuss it in this post. Another viewing is required before we come to that. :D I will say, though, that I love Iron Man / Tony Stark even more--a fact I thought impossible. And Madeleine is, of course, right, RDJ is one of the most attractive men on the planet.

However, my mind has been on film a lot lately and hence, this post. For the summer, I've played around with the idea of making my blog a sort of movie review--Amanda style, which means a lot of gushing, obsessing, and raving over random shots that probably aren't significant to anyone else. (like that shot in the Man of Steel trailer (by the way, I am so beyond excited for that movie, it's ridiculous) of him as a boy, wearing blue jeans, a white shirt, and a red cape, and he's in the right third of the frame and it pans up and he puts his hands on his hips... ya, I really love that). Haha, a parenthetical within a parenthetical...is that legal? Anywho. So, since I know my movie tastes may vary from the majority of human kind (I admit, I love some movies more than they deserve), I really wanted to put together a list of must-sees. And not "must" as in "oh my gosh you have to this movie! It's so great!", but "must" as in it is a real work of cinema art, in both picture, writing, and acting, and is an experience I believe everyone should have. Yep, I'm getting deep.

Let's get on with the list, shall we?

Cinderella Man
      I have a deep love for "depressing" movies, and this is one that everyone should see. The music is so moving and every aspect of the film emanates the atmosphere of the Great Depression. It's not really a sports movie at all. It also has one of my favorite actors in it, Paul Giamatti. And of course, Russel Crowe. One of the most satisfying films I've ever watched. You walk away with such a feeling of contentment. . . ah, you just need to experience it. A period drama, with top-notch actors and beautiful cinematography.

Amazing Grace
      I love this movie. Ioan Gruffud is superb, and his makeup is so amazing, the way they transform him from a young, fiery speaker to a sick, discouraged man is so skillful you hardly even think about it. Benedict Cumberbatch plays Robert Walpole (England's first PM) and is equally talented. The story is emotionally riveting. If I was a crier, I would bawl when watching this film. But in a good way.

Dan in Real Life
      Steve Carell really should do more dramatic roles. I love this movie because of him. It's kind of a small film. It takes place in one family, in nondescript Rhode Island, but the story is so wonderful--it really is a masterpiece of storytelling. Although it's so cliche to say, it is a funny, heartwarming movie that if you haven't seen, you really need to.

Casablanca
      I know this is a classic, but really, it's a classic for a reason. I love black and white movies because they have to milk all they can out of the lighting. The contrast they get in such a dark-lighted movie is amazing. Humphrey Bogart is, of course, so fun to watch. Also, it has one of my all-time favorite songs in it, As Time Goes By. And the ending is so great. *SPOILER ALERT*  "Ilsa, I'm no good at being noble, but it doesn't take much to see that the problems of three little people don't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy world." I know many people are disappointed that Ilsa doesn't stay with him, but really, isn't this true? Is their little love triangle more important than WWII and the roles they have in it? Such an iconic film.

Pearl Harbor
      Mostly, this movie is on this list because of the enormous emotional impact it has on you when you watch it. Sure, it's a romance, but it is also so much more. I really respect movies that push me to the edge, and the scenes of the attack on Pearl Harbor really strained my emotional acceptance, if that even makes sense. This is another reason why I love film--it's captures your imagination and allows us to experience what we otherwise never would. The panic and loss of life during those scenes is so heart-wrenching. This one really puts you through the ringer. But in my book, it's definitely worth it on so many levels.

A Little Princess
      Thank you Emilee for introducing this to me. Simple yet so profound, this one really is a gem. The story is so touching. And listen to this, I actually cried. Like, my eyes teared up and one actually fell. That, my friends, is a hard thing to do. (Not that I'm not moved by sad/touching things, I just don't express via tear duct.) The cinematography is simple, but so effective. It follows the basic rules (cliches) of filming, but so skillfully that they're not cliche (again, if that makes sense). For example, the scene where Sara and Miss Minchin have the "princess" talk, and the up/down angling of the camera reflects who is has the power of the conversation. If you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about. It gives you goose bumps. Well, it gives me goosebumps. :] My children are definitely growing up with this film.

The Dark Knight
      Another movie that pushed me to my emotional limit. I remember when I saw this in theaters, I was riveted to my seat, teetering between wanting to cover my eyes (it really hit my anxiety button) and loving it's...darkness? Anywho, hard to explain. It stretched, but didn't break and hence I am completely in love with it. Really, if you think about it, this film is a masterpiece. Beautiful lighting, coloring (those deep blacks are awesome), editing, not to mention the incredible performances, especially by Heath Ledger. Hans Zimmer score, Christian Bale, Batman . . . I mean really, it's a comic book story, and Christopher Nolan transforms it into this. Though it's not a "drama", it's on this list because it's such a moral film. The ferry scene is one of my favorites, and Gordon's ending lines are so wonderful! Ok, Amanda gush time: one of the ending scenes where he says "Because we have to chase him" and then the music hits and it cuts to Batman running, hunched over, between the containers just makes me crack a huge smile, hug a pillow, and let out a huge internal undignified squeeee of joy. :D

Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day
      Ok, if I'm being honest. . . a large part of why this is on the list is because Mark Strong and Lee Pace are in it. :D I love Mark Strong. Seriously. And Lee Pace is such a sweetheart, with his face and those eyebrows. :D Ahem. Anyway. . . Another WWII movie (kind of), this takes place before WWII in London in one whirl-wind day. Jazzy, fun, and a little scandalous, I love this movie and recommend it to everyone. Delysia's transformation is wonderful to watch. The ending for Miss Pettigrew is so satisfying. Ah. . . really this movie is on here because it's a fun, romantic, period movie with great heart and a great story. And of course, great filming too.


Skyfall
      Without a doubt, the best Bond film. But mostly this is on the list for its filming. I simply cannot get over the fact that it didn't win the Oscar for Best Cinematography! Really. Admittedly, I haven't seen The Life of Pi yet (really want to), which won, but still. The lighting, ah! It is so beautiful! When Bond is in China, following the shooter, ya know, in the dark glassy building with the colorful advertisement lights--I love that so much. The fight scene between them I really can't get enough of. And the way they shot London, in mostly cold, gray lighting. A great contrast between that and the bright, hotness of Turkey. Another fact I can't get over, that Daniel Craig's eyes really are that blue and it's not a color filter/treatment of the film.

Yep. There it is. Kind of a weird collection of works, but there ya go. Hopefully I didn't come across as a know-it all, because believe me, I have a lot to learn when it comes to understanding and appreciating film. What kills me is I know I'm forgetting some life-changing movies I've seen, but frankly, it's 11:30 at night and my brain is more suited to watching something this late than creatively writing and analyzing. Oh! Peter Pan, the live action Peter Pan, is also a must see. But maybe not. I think it's just so magical and darling, and it has Jason Isaacs in it, who is a joy to watch. And the music has changed my life. But maybe it's not such a universal "must-see". . .

Anyway. I'd really love to hear what you, dear reader, consider a "must-see". Did I miss anything? Where is my film education lacking? I know there are many important dramas and classics I have yet to see. Ooo! Brain spark! I should write a post about my top trailers! I'm kind of obsessed with trailers, and yes, I have a mental list of my favorites. I could post videos of them! Ah! This must happen.

Well it's clear that the late-night, random brain dysfunction has kicked in, so I shall call this good night. And I'm serious about telling me your life-changing movies!