I'm an Introvert, and I'm Sorry

I'm feeling very invaded today.

My house is full of people, and has been since about 5pm. Three people have knocked on my bedroom door, two of which were surprise visits from wardies wanting to "just stop and say hi." I know you think I'm a project, that I need fellowshipping, that I don't feel welcome. But news flash. I do feel welcome. I'm just comfortable not "munch and mingling" myself to death. You're very sweet and I know you mean well, but not everyone likes hugs from people they aren't close to.

I know the terms "introvert" and "extrovert" have been thrown around way too much lately, usually coupled with some vague, sweeping generalization about types of people and their behavior. I really dislike broad categorization of people, and I feel cheap saying "I'm an introvert."

But I am.

My room is my safe haven. Deciding to go out and socialize is a decision that takes some consideration. I don't like pointless interactions between people, and I don't like forcing myself to talk. Whenever I force myself to be social, talking and speaking up, I usually say something stupid and always regret it. Heck, my stomach gets upset before I'm about to see people that are already my friends, so when I'm in my shell, don't try to pull me out. I don't like being looked at, and I'm trying to work on my eye contact problems.

I'm a listener. I'm an eavesdropper. I'm a thinker. I like analysis. I'm fine staying in my room all day. Sometimes it's heaven to just sit quietly and let others do all the talking, to fly under the radar. I like empty apartments, baking by myself, and isolating myself with a pair of headphones.

I also like to hang out with friends. Occasionally, I like people to recognize my accomplishments and make me the center of attention. I like going out and doing activities. I like to make other people laugh, especially if it's a whole room full of people. I like to speak up when I have something to say. I like to be spontaneous, and I don't know what I'd do without my friends. I want people to know I exist. I want to be invited places. Movie parties are my favorite.

But when I've decided to be a hermit for the day, please respect the safe zone.